Sherpa Shenanigans

Muddy Sneaker As humans, we are habitual creatures per our nature; runners, especially hold true to this. We have habits, routinizes, rituals before our races. Listen or talk to a runner (or any athlete) and many create a pre-race routine and are very thrown off if this is unable to be completed. When I decided to no longer 'race', I thought my nerves/ pre- jitters/desire for pre-race routine would disappear if I did not strive for a certain outcome. However, each race, I am reminded that it does not work that way and find myself start getting nervous each race. The morning of muddy sneaker, things were messy. I did not sleep the night before, I made coffee, walked two steps and dropped the whole cup on myself. True to Danielle form, I also smashed right into a wall. Anyways, I was jittery and uncomfortable for a race I was running for FUN. Plotting along to the start, I am stuck in my head. Then I see a puppy and (for those who know me, know I can't help myself ...

What does success mean to you? By definition, suc·cess ( səkˈses/) : “
the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. " To some, success may be as simple (or as hard) as getting out of bed in the morning. To others, success may be more to reach a certain goal or to never give up. To some, such as myself, success has been something I have always taken for granted.  I don't often give the 'journey' enough credit and focus on results. In a way, society teaches us to function and live like this. Often the message presented is that your best is not good enough, and if that is your best, you better try harder. Failing for us is not an option. fail·ing [ fey -ling]:”a defect or fault; shortcoming; weakness.”  Can you locate at what point something becomes a 'failure'? Is it never trying what you unconsciously want because you afraid of outcomes?  Or is pulling back when things get too tough. Since my head seems to think in terms of athletes, I often look at challenges...

I realize a lot of my posts tend to focus on exercise and athleticism but this is currently what I find myself most wondering about. I find myself trying to better understand what a runner is . When I completed inpatient treatment, I was told to take running out of my vocabulary. I remember it so clearly and remember thinking, okay I was not a runner and I am not a runner. I pulled off my numerous marathon bumper stickers off my 2002 Jetta and said I would never be a runner again. The tears poured down my eyes as I felt my identity being ripped from my hands. According to the specialists, running was my addiction. For those suffering with drugs, we tell them to stay away from anything drug related. Don't hang out with those old friends, don't go down those street, don't go to the bar. Difficult but depending on your motivation, definitely doable. The experts tell me I must regulate my exercise and find a healthy have medium with it all. So, unlike other addictions, I c...

As I sit down to write this post, posting it to the general public makes me nausea with fear. I have read other's blogs about this topic and always felt a mix of awe and shame for them. Sharing such private intimate details to the public opens you up to a lot of criticism , judgement and also in way makes you more accountable. However, recently I have been able to witness some incredible acts of courage in that people took chances to allow themselves to be more vulnerable. Feeling strength from their energy and in the spirit of NEDA (National Eating Disorder Awareness Month), I want to share my story. “ To get something you have never had you must do something you have never done." I have created a life for myself which has many separate identities. Danielle, the therapist. Danielle, the friend. Danielle, the teacher. Danielle, the athlete. Never allowing pieces of my past slip into my current life. Many people in my life now do not associate me with an eating ...

          I have never been a fan of public journaling about myself, so after writing this, I struggle with posting it for others to see. However, I love reading others entries after races and thought, maybe I should too join in this reflection (so be gentle ). But before I start this entry, I think it is important to understand that I recently returned to the world of racing after a 4 year hiatus. I had lost the joy of running/racing and my life became consumed by performing rather than enjoying. After some much needed cross training and reflection, I rejoined the racing world. I promised myself I'd be less competitive and try to enjoy myself more. The old saying, you can take the girl out of the country but you can take the country out of the girl rings true for me... So the whole non-competitiveness with myself worked for around two seconds and then the competitive drive was back in full force during..      ...