"Since you were a little girl, I always knew I couldn't keep you from the mountains. It is the way you let your spirit free."
An hour to starting my 100 miler, my friend Laura gave me a letter from my mom with the above quote. To say my mom was excited for me to race a 100 miles in the mountains would be quite far from the truth. The letter, however, was exactly permission I needed to get lost in the woods and finish this dang adventure. In November of last year, I started to flirt with the idea of doing a 100 miler and my friend Mort sent me the link on IMTUF. I saw picture of baby GOATS (or what I thought was baby goats) and I knew this race was for me! Ironically, at the time, I was pacing another friend at his 100 and mentioned IMTUF to him. Although he was not trying to be discouraging, he told me that is not a first time one hundred miler and I would never finish. Ever since I was a little girl running in the mountains, no one tells me what I can or cannot do and it was settled in my brain that IMTUF would be my first 100. (Only my brain is allowed to tell me no, ha.) Never running a 100 and having no idea how to go about it, I reached out to a friend's coach (David Roche) who took this stubborn hurricane of a person on. I can't imagine I am easy to coach, always with my own ideas and pushing the limits. David didn't give up on me and helped me get ready for this event while he tried to help tame my own negative self-talk. Meanwhile, I continued to not sign up for the race because (let's be honest), I was scared shitless for such a huge undertaking. My good friend (MORT) bought a plane ticket and basically sealed the deal. With him buying a plane ticket, I had no choice but to commit and finally pulled the trigger. Mort was in cahoots with my other good friend from home, Laura and Josh, who shortly after got plane tickets (to come all the way from NY to IDAHO for me!). I just get teary-eyed thinking about how gosh darn lucky I am to have people willing to do this for me. As I waited for the race, I continued to prepare by running lots, learning about the different mountains in Oregon, eating and visiting Jeremy at Evolution to make me strong.
The week of the race felt surreal and I tried to organize and pack all this crap. My AMAZING crew (Mort, Laura and Josh) flew in from NY , I grabbed my other pacer (Marta) from Portland, plus my pup and we head to the mountains of Idaho! As nervous as I was for the race, I don't know the last time I laughed so hard with my friends and it was exactly what my soul needed for this endeavor. The AM of the race start was SO cold and my body was having a difficult time adjusting to 28 degrees. My head was filled with fear and doubt that I had no business being on the start line for my first 100. Before I had time to really think, the Elk Horn sounded and we were off into the beautiful FRIGID morning. Each mile was a blur until I made it to my wonderful crew and pup and promptly told them: " I don't think I am going to finish but I'll keep going to the next spot." I stopped and put on my shorts and noticed my NEW DARN TOUGH socks had holes in them after only 15 miles. THIS IS THE BAIN OF MY EXISTANCE, for no sock can outlast my gnarly running style apparently! I giggled , changed my sock and shuttled along kissing my sweet pup before I left.
For the next few hours, we climbed a beautiful mountain and I debated my life and how to adventure full-time arriving at no feasible answer. I eventually found my way back to my dog, crew and pacer, Marta. My dog was very excited to see me but had a flatten dead frog in her mouth. She quickly dropped the frog and proceed to kiss me.... WHERE IS MY DEAD PRINCE? Not there or anywhere! Marta and I headed out, things were starting to feel hard and the negative self-talk was back. Marta lovingly had a talk with me or what I like to call a "come to jesus moment" and told me to cut it out. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Shortly after this, however, the puke monster came over me and I was struggling hard core. Marta kept me motivated, moving/ safe and I honestly believed without her there at that moment, I would not have finished. The sun started to set and glossed over the mountains in a beautiful magical way. In my ears, my mom's quote about my spirit being free rang so true in my ears. We get to the next aid station quicker than expected and Marta grabbed my crew for me and off I went with Josh for the next thirty miles. We ran to the infamous goat selfie Aid Station (the whole reason I ran the race) and met some new friends.
The night miles, as expected were really hard for me and it was a drudge. Josh kept me moving and laughing when multiple times I wanted to just sit on the trail. We finally made it to mile 84 something and the aid station lady (who was amazing) tells me 20 more miles. I just started to crying these big fat tear as the poor aid station lady tried to comfort me... but I just wanted to keep moving. We made it to the next aid station and I got to the crew who had the BEST hot pancake with PB waiting for me. Mort changed my socks (best guy ever), I got some pup kisses and felt like a new person. Josh and I basically ran the next 18 miles, as I was determined not to let anyone pass me again. We finally get to the dirt road and I have never been more excited to finish a race. Marta, Laura and the pup were waiting for me by the entrance of the Hot Springs and ran besides me to the finish. Mort was waiting with a big hug across the finish line. I finished! It felt surreal and incredible to know that my body and other people's can run over 100 miles (maybe 104 or 106, the amount is unknown). As I walked around dumbfounded, I speculated the astonishing body/mind capability to overcome. Truly this concept is beyond our comprehension. As the days continue to pass since the race, I grabble with the magnitude of the power of the mind to make or break us. At my worst moments, it was not my body that would fail me but my mind. Although I can only speak for myself, most of us have some sort of demons that we are fleeing from or fighting during our weakest moments. This race was a reminder that how we respond to these challenges can change the course of your life. Being able to finish the race is something that will forever amaze me but the major lesson I learned was more of a reminder in that we have the ability to overcome self-doubt through the strength of persistence. The entire race could not have happened without my crew. They have the hardest, thankless job out there. As someone who has crewed/paced quite a few 100 milers, I know the toll it takes being awake all night and keeping someone moving. Not only did my crew did this, most of them flew in from NY to make this dream become a reality. Words, tears, love cannot even begin to explain my gratitude for them. You guys are truly the best. And a huge thank you to Keely for her constantly supply of GU and clothing.
Although much of my race report did not discuss specifics of the race, I would highly recommend it to anyone looking for a mountain 100. The race directors, Jeremy and Brandi put together an amazing, home grown feel (which is one the reasons I started trail racing). The volunteers were amazing, the course was too gorgeous too put in words and I don't have enough wonderful things to say about the race.
My week of recovery has given me plenty of time to scheme up new ideas and search for the belt buckle I seemingly already misplaced :) Happy Trails!
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