Heavy Heart, Hurt Hammie, Soaring Spirit
At mile 37, I had what I considered the Absolute BEST idea for my
race report and decided to repeat this over and over until I reached
my pacer at the next aid station. After running 37 miles, every idea
seems astonishing. As I look back on most of my discoveries during
this race, they are not as impressive as I once believed. But
nonetheless, I'll stick with my original title of: Heavy Heart, Hurt
Hammie and Soaring Spirit.
Since Cayuga, I have been debating running Twisted Branch. Unsure how my body would tolerate the heavy milage, I held off on signing up until the very last moment (possibly the last second). A few weeks prior to signing up, I messaged one of my adventure partners (Jason) and asked him if he was interested in being my pacer. A day before the race closed, Jason finally messaged me and basically was like, “ What is it going to be!” And I thought, what a beautiful way to say goodbye to the East Coast by running a 100k in the Finger Lakes and signed up. (Side note, in June, I had left my job and was planning on moving to be with my boyfriend in California in September).
Exactly a week before the race, I received a rather unpleasant phone call from my now ex-boyfriend. To eliminate any drama, I will spare you the details. However, as far as break-ups go, I would rate this as a pretty horrible one. I often rate how good a day is based on how many dogs I have seen, so a great day would be a ten dog day. If I had to rate this breakup in terms of dog's, I'd give it a 0 Dog day. I suppose it could have been worse and gotten negative dog reviews but as we are all well aware, everything could be worse. These details are important because heavy hurts prior to huge races can negative impact your mojo and really bring you down. With my future up in the air, I didn't know how to push all these negative emotions away to focus solely on my upcoming race. Also, on an easy taper run, I pulled my hamstring and started to panic. So, I didn't plan ANYTHING until the Thursday before the race. My girlfriends are the best and knew I needed some cheering up and we all made dinner together. During dinner, they helped me put on my game face. Without the help of Jen and Laura, I am not sure I could have pulled this off. They helped me with details of camping and transportation. They are my little and beautiful trail fairies. Amy and Dan Lapota let us camp at their tent site and provide a way for me to make coffee in the morning! Plus, Dan gave me a pad to sleep on because I left mine in my car at the finish line. On Friday morning before I left for the race, I had an emergency appointment (sounds SO important) to get my hamstring tapped. Although I was quite worried about how it would fare, I thought why not give it a shot and see how it feels after a few miles. Plus, the pink and blue K-tape was SO sweet.
Race Morning! Per my usual self, I was nervous about the race. I knew I had trained hard but feeling emotionally beat up from the week and worried about my hamstring. I felt on edge and seriously hoped that I could just finish. The morning was windy and the prefect temperature. I am standing in the pack of the back and did not realize the race had started until everyone started moving forward. My wise friend, Jeffrey Green, informed most of the start is downhill. He suggested starting conservatively in order to save myself for the long day ahead. Thankfully, I listened to his advice because I could see how people start really fast. The downhill and runnable miles lull you into a false sense of security. Right before the first aid station, I saw Laura and Jen and my heart warmed. My hamstring felt fine and I was hoping it could stay that way. The first 15 miles flew by and I was surronded by some of the most legendary trail runners, Rob Feissner, Jeff and an Ohioan. Eventually I separated from the group prior to one of my favorite aid stations and saw my first dog of the day! Tim Howland's brought his puppy Diesel and after that, I knew it was going to be a good day. Back into the woods alone, I felt my pain, heartache and loss melt away. My heartache begin to dissipate, as I realized I am capable of whatever I put my mind to. I let myself get swept away by the beauty of the Finger Lake Trails and found the hope I needed to cure my blues and be in the moment.
After my surreal moment of peace, I had a new thought pop up and became fixated on just getting to Jason (my awesome pacer). For many miles, I was so excited to pick him up until I realized around mile 30, he couldn't actually carry me. Around this time, I ran up to an aid station, where my good friend Michael Welden was sitting. Mike is an amazing runner and I could not fathom or understand why he was sitting there. All I could think of was, “Oh Fuck, I am already hallucinating.” Turns out, I wasn't. He had gotten lost earlier in the course and had just found his way out. This is a once in a life time event folks, I will never get to SEE Mike again if we are running the race. We chatted a few and then off we went to pick up the pacers. Mike raced ahead and I was alone again. I ran by a house with a pool and said out loud: “ Can I go swim in there? Would they shoot me? Why am I talking to myself.” Then I saw ANOTHER dog and again out loud shouted : “ TWO DOG DAY! YES!”
I was feeling pretty good as I ran up to Bud Valley for Jason. ON the way up, I saw paddington the bear (another friend) and saw Jeff again. Seeing Jeff made me sad because that had meant he was no longer racing and he is one of the toughest cats I know. I silently said well wishes and continued on. After running alone for many miles, getting into the Aid stations is almost like a shock to the system with helpful volunteers asking for what you need. I often am so excited about the sight of people, I lose my words for a few minutes and stare blankly. I often try to convince them that I am indeed okay just thinking. As I rolled in, Jason intercepted me and I said: “ Let's go catch some females.” Maybe I meant Pokemon? I am not sure. Regardless, I cannot even begin to explain the joy I felt reaching him, it was as if I was starting another race. Since I have never ran a 100k before, I had never used a pacer before. It was a real game changer for me because if I had to talk to myself for 25+ more miles, who knows what “great” ideas I may come up with.
For the next 25 miles, Jason and I managed to cure world hunger, set huge goals and only lose the trail once. Around mile 55, I stopped Jason and told him I had finally made my goal for the race. My wonderful friend, humored me and asked what. I told him, I wanted to finish in daylight and under no circumstance did I want to use my headlamp. Jason, ever so optimistic, said let's give a shot. On and off we discussed my possible place and whether I could catch the next female. Each time, we came to the conclusion I would run my own race and not worry about anyone else. Every couple of hours, I would stop and pee. Each time, I would inform poor Jason the color of my pee. Reason number 101: he is the absolute best. In the second half of the race, I had only two moments where I was either going to A. Vomit everything I had consumed over the past hour or B. Pass out. Thankfully, I was able to stop, take a salt tab and feel better without any major damage. We finally go to the last aid station and I was dreading Mountain Washington ( I had heard so much about the difficulty of this climb last year). We hit it head on and my legs were thankful for the reprieve from the downhill. Daylight was slowly fading and my goal seemed to be drifting away but I was not going to give it up that easily. We chased the sunset until we saw the helpful crossing guards and the finish!! As we run up to the finish, I spot my momma and stepdad. I am shocked I did not cry as the joy I felt was overwhelming. Understandable so, my mom struggles to come to these crazy adventures and having her there at the finish was indescribable. I ran into a sea of my friends and felt so incredibly supported. I realized this isn't just on the trails but my amazing friends (near and far) are always right besides me.
Somehow shockingly, I managed to pull off 3rd women and 11th place overall. If I wasn't sore the next day, I am not sure I would believe that this all happened. I may have even thought it was a dream. Scott Magee and company does an amazing job with the race and I highly recommend to anyone considering this challenge. Without the support of my friends and family, this could not have happened and cannot thank them enough. Ultimately, it was them who helped pull the heaviness from my heart and let me soar.
Since Cayuga, I have been debating running Twisted Branch. Unsure how my body would tolerate the heavy milage, I held off on signing up until the very last moment (possibly the last second). A few weeks prior to signing up, I messaged one of my adventure partners (Jason) and asked him if he was interested in being my pacer. A day before the race closed, Jason finally messaged me and basically was like, “ What is it going to be!” And I thought, what a beautiful way to say goodbye to the East Coast by running a 100k in the Finger Lakes and signed up. (Side note, in June, I had left my job and was planning on moving to be with my boyfriend in California in September).
Exactly a week before the race, I received a rather unpleasant phone call from my now ex-boyfriend. To eliminate any drama, I will spare you the details. However, as far as break-ups go, I would rate this as a pretty horrible one. I often rate how good a day is based on how many dogs I have seen, so a great day would be a ten dog day. If I had to rate this breakup in terms of dog's, I'd give it a 0 Dog day. I suppose it could have been worse and gotten negative dog reviews but as we are all well aware, everything could be worse. These details are important because heavy hurts prior to huge races can negative impact your mojo and really bring you down. With my future up in the air, I didn't know how to push all these negative emotions away to focus solely on my upcoming race. Also, on an easy taper run, I pulled my hamstring and started to panic. So, I didn't plan ANYTHING until the Thursday before the race. My girlfriends are the best and knew I needed some cheering up and we all made dinner together. During dinner, they helped me put on my game face. Without the help of Jen and Laura, I am not sure I could have pulled this off. They helped me with details of camping and transportation. They are my little and beautiful trail fairies. Amy and Dan Lapota let us camp at their tent site and provide a way for me to make coffee in the morning! Plus, Dan gave me a pad to sleep on because I left mine in my car at the finish line. On Friday morning before I left for the race, I had an emergency appointment (sounds SO important) to get my hamstring tapped. Although I was quite worried about how it would fare, I thought why not give it a shot and see how it feels after a few miles. Plus, the pink and blue K-tape was SO sweet.
Race Morning! Per my usual self, I was nervous about the race. I knew I had trained hard but feeling emotionally beat up from the week and worried about my hamstring. I felt on edge and seriously hoped that I could just finish. The morning was windy and the prefect temperature. I am standing in the pack of the back and did not realize the race had started until everyone started moving forward. My wise friend, Jeffrey Green, informed most of the start is downhill. He suggested starting conservatively in order to save myself for the long day ahead. Thankfully, I listened to his advice because I could see how people start really fast. The downhill and runnable miles lull you into a false sense of security. Right before the first aid station, I saw Laura and Jen and my heart warmed. My hamstring felt fine and I was hoping it could stay that way. The first 15 miles flew by and I was surronded by some of the most legendary trail runners, Rob Feissner, Jeff and an Ohioan. Eventually I separated from the group prior to one of my favorite aid stations and saw my first dog of the day! Tim Howland's brought his puppy Diesel and after that, I knew it was going to be a good day. Back into the woods alone, I felt my pain, heartache and loss melt away. My heartache begin to dissipate, as I realized I am capable of whatever I put my mind to. I let myself get swept away by the beauty of the Finger Lake Trails and found the hope I needed to cure my blues and be in the moment.
After my surreal moment of peace, I had a new thought pop up and became fixated on just getting to Jason (my awesome pacer). For many miles, I was so excited to pick him up until I realized around mile 30, he couldn't actually carry me. Around this time, I ran up to an aid station, where my good friend Michael Welden was sitting. Mike is an amazing runner and I could not fathom or understand why he was sitting there. All I could think of was, “Oh Fuck, I am already hallucinating.” Turns out, I wasn't. He had gotten lost earlier in the course and had just found his way out. This is a once in a life time event folks, I will never get to SEE Mike again if we are running the race. We chatted a few and then off we went to pick up the pacers. Mike raced ahead and I was alone again. I ran by a house with a pool and said out loud: “ Can I go swim in there? Would they shoot me? Why am I talking to myself.” Then I saw ANOTHER dog and again out loud shouted : “ TWO DOG DAY! YES!”
I was feeling pretty good as I ran up to Bud Valley for Jason. ON the way up, I saw paddington the bear (another friend) and saw Jeff again. Seeing Jeff made me sad because that had meant he was no longer racing and he is one of the toughest cats I know. I silently said well wishes and continued on. After running alone for many miles, getting into the Aid stations is almost like a shock to the system with helpful volunteers asking for what you need. I often am so excited about the sight of people, I lose my words for a few minutes and stare blankly. I often try to convince them that I am indeed okay just thinking. As I rolled in, Jason intercepted me and I said: “ Let's go catch some females.” Maybe I meant Pokemon? I am not sure. Regardless, I cannot even begin to explain the joy I felt reaching him, it was as if I was starting another race. Since I have never ran a 100k before, I had never used a pacer before. It was a real game changer for me because if I had to talk to myself for 25+ more miles, who knows what “great” ideas I may come up with.
For the next 25 miles, Jason and I managed to cure world hunger, set huge goals and only lose the trail once. Around mile 55, I stopped Jason and told him I had finally made my goal for the race. My wonderful friend, humored me and asked what. I told him, I wanted to finish in daylight and under no circumstance did I want to use my headlamp. Jason, ever so optimistic, said let's give a shot. On and off we discussed my possible place and whether I could catch the next female. Each time, we came to the conclusion I would run my own race and not worry about anyone else. Every couple of hours, I would stop and pee. Each time, I would inform poor Jason the color of my pee. Reason number 101: he is the absolute best. In the second half of the race, I had only two moments where I was either going to A. Vomit everything I had consumed over the past hour or B. Pass out. Thankfully, I was able to stop, take a salt tab and feel better without any major damage. We finally go to the last aid station and I was dreading Mountain Washington ( I had heard so much about the difficulty of this climb last year). We hit it head on and my legs were thankful for the reprieve from the downhill. Daylight was slowly fading and my goal seemed to be drifting away but I was not going to give it up that easily. We chased the sunset until we saw the helpful crossing guards and the finish!! As we run up to the finish, I spot my momma and stepdad. I am shocked I did not cry as the joy I felt was overwhelming. Understandable so, my mom struggles to come to these crazy adventures and having her there at the finish was indescribable. I ran into a sea of my friends and felt so incredibly supported. I realized this isn't just on the trails but my amazing friends (near and far) are always right besides me.
Somehow shockingly, I managed to pull off 3rd women and 11th place overall. If I wasn't sore the next day, I am not sure I would believe that this all happened. I may have even thought it was a dream. Scott Magee and company does an amazing job with the race and I highly recommend to anyone considering this challenge. Without the support of my friends and family, this could not have happened and cannot thank them enough. Ultimately, it was them who helped pull the heaviness from my heart and let me soar.
Hey good job! Amazing, just amazing...
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